ed kalinski - mattress salesman

so, last year i bought a big girl bed. very exciting. box spring, mattress, frame. hitherto, i had been sleeping - since college - on a futon. well, 'i' bought the bed with money my parents gifted me at christmas. but i was the one who did it.

anyway, at the Original Mattress Factory Showroom Lenox...there's a bunch of beds. in the front of the store, right when you come in there's a desk with what i would call a 'car dealer' set-up at it. desk with computer that can be utilized by any sales person on the floor. one swivel chair behind the desk. two regular chairs in front of the desk. paperwork. car dealer set-up. and behind the desk, that fateful bed-buying day, was ed kalinski. a guy who had been selling mattresses for 25 years.

i don't mean to be stereotypical, but ed looked like the kind of guy who has been selling something for 25 years. mid-forties (maybe), short-sleeve work shirt (in december), tie, tan pants, side part with evenly trimmed sideburns, wedding ring. a nice guy. seriously. he was clearly a professional and was very nice in showing me the 'low-rent' options and very helpful in my first major home purchase experience. told me about rotating the mattress every couple of months (though some folks rotate once a month...ed didn't see the need for all that), flipping the mattress once a year. that's gonna increase the longevity.

i enjoyed ed's company as much as ed enjoyed mine. he helped me find a bed and i helped him do something other than play computer solitaire. i've had that job plenty of times, and i know that sometimes customers can be a relief. so, yeah. ed kalinski, nice guy.

a few days after my bed was delivered i got a card in teh mail 'from' ed kalinski, thanking me for being a customer and hoping i enjoy sleep more with new bed. it was cheesy. the envelope had that printed but could legitimately have been hand-addressed lettering on it. and inside it was a 'script-esque' italic font. not terribly personal, but the company's nice touch. and then like a week later, i got a happy new year card from 'Ed' too.

it's not that weird to get things like this from companys you make a 'major' purchase with. it isn't. i know this because my parents get shit like this periodically. it's fine. what weirds me out about it is that it's always addressed from Ed Kalinski. not the Original Mattress Factory. the card is designed to appear as though it's coming from ed. and actually, almost a year after i bought my bed, when i checked my mail today i got another missive 'from' ed. wishing me a happy thanksgiving and thanking the universe for elastic waistbands (yup).

now, if the logic behind all this is to make a personal connection (or percieved personal connection) between sales person and customer...it's totally worked. i think more about ed kalinski now than i ever thought possible. seriously.

but, uh...in some ways...the cards make ed look a little worse off than he actually is. because, for me, my first thought upon reciept of card, nigh on one year later, was 'does ed kalinski really have nothing better to do than to send me cheesey corporate greeting cards?' like an ex-boyfriend who just won't leave well enough alone (and i know there are ex-girlfriends like that, and i somewhat reluctantly admit that i've been that ex-girlfriend before), i just wonder why he's bothering. and then i remember that it's probably just that he signed my up for said holiday cards when he was putting my stuff in his computer. and then, further, i remember that i don't really know ed kalinski, that no one could really know ed kalinski. or at least no one that stopped by for 20 minutes and bought a bed from him. and ed kalinski - though he knows which model i find more comfortable, and that i sleep on my side, slightly curled up - doesn't really know me either.

and i can't think of a good ending for this right now.

happy thanksgiving, turkeys! WHA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

that'll do...