so...now what

welp...

i accepted the job. the part time job.

i feel good and nervous about this. good because for once this isn't an 'oh shit, i have to have something and this will do' job. this is actually something i'm interested in. and it's actually adding to my 'skill set'.

nervous because i have a month to find a companion part-time gig. if i can find one for 20 hours a week at $12/hour i'll be making the same amount that i've been making for the past three years or so. yup, my pay scale is astronomical.

so tonight is supposed to be night one of (hopefully) a non interminable job quest. unfortunately, my nerves (i'll get to it) and laziness have forced me to eat a half-pan of brownies. so i'm kind of brain dead right now. also, i'm just kind of brain dead after today in general.

never in my life have i felt so close to puking at a job as i did this mornign. because i knew i'd have to give notice today. and it went well, really it did. and my coming in september boss who's still in jersey asked that i write a list of all the reasons i'm leaving. which gave me the opportunity to, in a very professional way stick up for my co-worker and tell the uppers what i think is wrong with this place. that felt really good to do. new boss will be sharing this thing with the 'appropriate parties' after i leave. it's nice. and i've worked it out so i don't feel like such an asshole leaving - i'll be full time all this week and next week, and then starting the 18th i start at new job and go part time until sept 5 at my current job. that'll give my new boss a week to settle in and make sure my co-worker isn't driven insane by crazy amounts of work. and it gives me a month to find something else...

but all day i've been just this little quiver-box of nerves. it's like being some sort of creature made out of jello with butterflies in it. it's been...tense. and apparently jiggly. add to that the fact that i talked for at least an hour and a half (altogether) with more than half of my co-workers about the shitty state of things and i'm just...beat...

and then i had to talk to my mom about all this. which made me much more nervous than i thought it would. ah...nothing like being nuerotic and afraid of disappointing the people around me.

so tomorrow at work i start getting everything i possibly can set up and ready before i hit part-time and before the busy time really picks up. and tomorrow night will begin night one of part-time finding...oh my jebus.

once again...i may be an idiot...but at least now i'll be a much happier idiot. and really, isn't that a good thing? really?