t-minus 30 days

-or-

what the hell have i done?

oh eve...why? why do you keep doing this to yourself? why do you keep finding jobs you hate then quitting them for things that aren't stable? why? why do you do this?

oh man...

so, monday - when i accepted this job - i was really confident and feeling good about my choice, right? yesterday, a little on edge about the whole 'need to find something else' thing. today the shit has hit the fan in my brain.

let me explain, i'm still stoked about the job i accepted. it's really going to be fun and cool and expand my 'skill set' and whathaveya...but holy shit am i freakin' out about finding other things. other money things. really, i just need one other thing for money purposes. Ho-ly Shit.

god, i'm just... i mean, isn't that the definition of a crazy person? or at least part of it? doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. god, what the hell is wrong with me?

oh man. i just...oh man...

pants pooped.

30 days to find more employment.

oh jeez...